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Shocking True Uber & Lyft Stories

So for everyone that has read Shockingly True Uber Stories already: at the end of the book I promised I would start posting videos so you could see my true condition and see that everything I told you in the book was the absolute truth…

It’s taken a little time to finish filming and editing, plus I’ve been waiting for the audiobook to be available on every possible site, but now without further ado, I present to you the first video, that is basically a trailer for the book…

There you go, you can check it out and see into my world. You can see where and how I live, you can see all the constant crazy workouts I do just to function throughout the day, including Nauli Kriya, which is stomach vacuuming and rotating my abdominal muscles in a circle.

So the secret is officially out now. I can’t move my neck but hey I can move my stomach in every which way…

So check it all out and enjoy. The song is Formidable by Stromae, slowed down a bit. And my dope wife made the whole video and did everything.

You can find my YouTube channel right here, and go ahead and subscribe to see all the future videos we post…

You can download the audiobook on Audible here

You can download the audibook on iTunes here

You can download the eBook on Amazon here

I’ll be posting more soon… Told you it’s all the truth.

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How I Recorded the Audiobook (part 2)

So here I am feeling extra American these days, and here’s this note on my door telling me people are entering my home whenever they want and I’ll just have to deal with it and they might be friendly but I better keep any pets away from them

(I really wish I still had my giant pitbull Louie with me, to guard my pad, then I wouldn’t have to worry about anything, I wouldn’t even have to keep the door locked, but he’s living the good retired life with my buddy back in Southern California on a large property with a lot of other animals, loving life, so I’m happy for him, I wouldn’t ruin his last days by bringing him here to the freezing icy snow)…

  This shockingly bold internet company had me thinking about: “WE THE PEOPLE, US AMERICANS and OUR RIGHTS”, so I decided I would defend my home by any means necessary and there was absolutely no way ANYONE was coming into my home uninvited. 

So for 3 days I paced the floor of my pad, watching through the blinds, waiting for someone to try to come in, rather than doing anything productive to forward my writing career, certainly not recording the audiobook like I was supposed to be…

  Finally I was sitting comfortably on the floor of my living room, meditating, trying to deal with the stress of all the banging and drilling and loud conversations right outside my front window, and I was in deep meditation, floating through space, realizing the Universe is an endless ocean made of the same tiny particles that I’m made of, realizing I’m made of the exact same matter as everything else in the Universe, watching the tide of the ocean flowing into me and out of me, back out into space, seeing all the stars as particles of sand, and my mind is a planet, my head is the Earth, my breathe is the wind, my legs are the roots of a tree, and they’re buried beneath the Earth, and I’m the same thing as everything, even inanimate objects, made of the same subatomic particles as everything else, my mind is a clean blank slate, I’m completely brand new, starting a fresh new life with each new breath of fresh air, I am one with everything  in the entire Universe…

  When I heard a quick loud knock on the door, and I slowly opened my eyes, like I’m Yoda coming out of a trance of the Force, then I heard my door unlock and the door was pushed open but it stopped suddenly and loudly because of the chain on the door…

  I still sat there relaxed because of the deep cleansing meditation session, but I shouted: “Hey stop!”

  I slowly pushed myself up from the floor and left the door open only a few inches, held by the chain… I saw two dudes in masks and uniforms, and the dude in front said: “We’re here to install fiber…”

  And I said: “No.”

  And he said: “Why not?”

“Because.  No one’s coming in here.” 

“We’re installing fiber…  We have to…”

“No.”

“Okay we’re calling the landlord!”

“Go for it.”

  And I closed the door and locked it. 

  Then I sat down and wrote a few threatening emails to my management company.  I wrote to any contact email I could find.  I wrote aggressive emails threatening legal action if ANYONE stepped foot in my apartment uninvited without my knowledge or permission. 

I explained that as an AMERICAN citizen this was against my rights, and I couldn’t believe some outside company was somehow allowed to tell me they were entering my home without my permission during any time in history let alone during a global pandemic, and with my autoimmune condition, my immune system was at risk, and under no circumstances was a group of guys coming into my home touching everything, breathing everywhere, and if it was discovered that anyone came into my residence without my knowledge or permission, and I caught the slightest sniffle or cough then the management company would be held liable to every extent of the law. 

  Since I’ve lived in so many terrible apartments with so many terrible landlords and management companies, I’ve learned to write pretty powerful threatening emails, always threatening aggressive legal action, even though I’ve never had or known any lawyer, I usually get good fast results…    

  But I still haven’t heard back, so I’ve just been pacing back and forth across my living room floor, guarding my pad like my old pitbull Louie, occasionally looking through the blinds and growling…

(continued in the next post...)

The audiobook of Shockingly True Uber Stories is available now on Audible.

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Audiobook Available Now

As promised, the audiobook version of Shockingly True Uber Stories is now available on Audible. You can get it right here. In a couple more days it will be available on iTunes and Amazon, and next week you will be able to get the audiobook everywhere they have audiobooks…

I’m so happy and grateful the book is doing so well already. It has continued to remain in the Top 100 Kindle ebooks in a few different categories, and has remained closer to #1 here in the US as well as many other countries, and it’s barely been out for a week and I haven’t even done anything to promote it yet. So many people in so many different countries have been reading it for free on Kindle Unlimited, so you’re welcome for that. It’s a good sign that more and more people are reading it everyday, and once they start reading it, they can’t stop, they always read a lot of pages, more and more pages are read every day…

But hey I’ll take it, it’s great people are already enjoying it. I’ve been really lowkey about it for now, because I want to get everything set up first… I want the audiobook to be out everywhere, and I want to finish filming a video I promised at the end of the book so you can see that every word I wrote in the book is true…

We filmed most of the footage this weekend, so you’ll be able to see the condition of my body and some of the many strange things I do daily to keep my body functioning properly or even at all… So hopefully we’ll finish editing the video and be able to post it soon so you can trip out about it all.

Once everything is done, then I’ll be everywhere and everyone will know the story. I just have to wait a tiny bit longer. It’s amazing how long I’ve been waiting already, I planned all this so long ago, the book has been written for a year now, the audiobook was recorded and mixed 6 months ago, I saw the videos in my mind, I saw it all in my mind so long ago, I saw the press and the podcasts so long ago…

I just had to be extremely patient while I overcame every obstacle, the global pandemic, shut down, quarantine, all the rules and regulations and all that, the death of my father, writing to my girl’s father and family on the other side of the planet, trying to straighten out a marriage with her, then straighten out all her immigration bullshit…

All while having to learn how to be a proper husband and support a wife, while the closest people to me are doubting me and dismissing me and disrespecting me… but patience pays off… the patient are always rewarded… all that…

I’ve been staying cool about it, but honestly it’s a trip to see it all come to fruition… it’s a trip to see the name W. Sage and to see the author page, and the title of the book and the description and the ratings and reviews, and now to see it available as an audiobook on Audible, and filming all the scenes I saw in my head for so long, and to even be typing on this blog… it’s a trip.

It’s just pure belief in yourself, pure belief in your ability… never doubting yourself, never allowing doubt to creep into your mind even while the closest people to you and maybe even the whole world is telling you you can’t do it… They try to dismiss you and disrespect you and say you’re useless and try to make you feel worthless, they try to destroy your dreams and take them from you…

But you just stay patient and persistent, and inevitably you’re laughing and laughing at them and all the rest of it.

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#1 Top Kindle eBook

The book has been out for almost a week now and what a first week it was…

Shockingly True Uber Stories was the #1 Kindle eBook in so many different countries and so many different categories, like: travel writing, travelogues & travel essays, travel memoirs, true crime stories, biographies & memoirs, etc. and etc….

And this is only the beginning. This was a super soft launch, barely anyone knows the book exists yet. Just wait til I release the audiobook. Then I’m coming for everything. Everyone is gonna know the story.

But I’m grateful to everyone that already grabbed the book and especially all the early 5-star reviews on Amazon and Goodreads. That’s super cool of all of you…

So tonight, this one is for all the people that already read the book early… I’m gonna give a special sneak peek to everyone that has read the book all the way to the end…

Anyone that read the end of the book knows why I’m posting a picture of my bamboo spine

This picture is just between us. Just a little peek for now. You can see the whole spine.

Notice the tight skin stretching over the curve at the top of the shoulders. And notice I’m stuck looking down. In case you thought I was making anything up.

Nah I’m the truth. Every word is the truth.

Nevermind the muscle, that’s just my response to a deadly disease. You think it’s easy to handle a wild Arabian Barbie Doll? Especially in my condition? You gotta adapt or die.

Speaking of that, today we finally finished and mailed all the paperwork to our lawyer for our case to keep my wife legal in this country. The book has actually been done for a long time, I just had to be patient and wait to release it, while we worked on all this paperwork for many months. And by the way it was way harder and way more work than writing the book. Yet we’re paying the lawyer a lot of money for some reason… hmmmm…

Welcome to America.

Meanwhile my wife is way more American than most… She talks like a Southern California surfer, and is rollin’ around with pinkish purplish hair, double checking there’s no dairy in her latte, cuz she’s veeegaaan… while I look like a proper Arab Muslim, with a shaved head and magnificent long dark beard, vacuuming my stomach, practicing Nauli Kriya and Kung Fu on a stack of tires in a warehouse on a five-acre farm somewhere in the middle of nowhere…

(I’ll show you videos soon)

Soon I’ll be posting here every Monday and Thursday, and you’ll be able to signup for email updates of everything from videos to more shocking Uber stories…

I’ll continue the story about how I struggled to get the audiobook done in the next post, but tonight this one is for everyone that already grabbed the book, and especially for all those that read it til the end.

The story is mine no longer. I release it to the Universe. It belongs to you now.

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Audio book coming soon

I was planning on recording the audio book, but it turned out major construction had begun on my apartment building. 

  I was just about ready to push record and say: Shockingly True Uber Stories, by W. Sage, when all of a sudden I heard all this banging on the walls and drilling in the ceiling right above me.  So I got up all annoyed and looked out the window and saw some trucks and a bunch of ladders in the parking lot, and it turns out they’re painting every part of the building outside, the stairs and railings, and even pouring concrete…

  I was all excited, setting up a nice little home studio in my closet, I ordered all the best equipment, and opened all the boxes like it was Christmas. I was even practicing, with these ridiculous voice exercises, walking around enunciating out loud: “Q-E-Q-R, Q-E-Q-R”, sounding like a mental patient, “Q-E-Q-R”, over and over, and humming in the deepest voice possible, making a buzzing sound in my chest, following all the steps I’d learned from online tutorials…

  And to make things even more annoying, this internet company had the balls to post a note on all of our doors saying they’re coming into our home some day this week whether we like it or not.  This internet company wants this building to have the option to have their service, whether we want it or not, so they’re here all week, all over the building, hammering and drilling…

  It didn’t seem right that some outside company can just tell you they’re coming into your home whenever it’s convenient for them, whether you want them to or not.  And they actually had the balls to write on the note: “Our technicians are mostly friendly but make sure you keep your pets away from them.”  I swear.  Said that right on the note.  And this wasn’t a note from the management company of the building, it’s just some independent company installing something so they have the opportunity to make more money. 

  Oh and this is also during a global pandemic while there are all kinds of laws telling us to stay away from each other.  So I was pretty upset about all this to say the least. 

  I’m from Los Angeles, so out there it doesn’t really feel like “America” proper, out there you just feel like a citizen of the world, with people from every country and culture all crowding together… but now since moving right to the very middle of the country, right in the heartbeat of America, and after living here for a year now, I’m finally feeling much more “American”. 

  Before coming here to the Midwest I’d rarely left California, barely even crossed the border to go to Las Vegas or Tijuana, but now I’ve been to so many states, and seen a lot of the country up close, traveling all around, truly experiencing the true American culture. 

  So these days I’m rolling around dressed like a farmer (as my girl tells me), wearing trucker hats and even a cowboy hat, and thick flannel shirts, listening to classic rock music, even old Southern Rock…

(Although I’m doing it all ironically, like I’m parodying them, and I think the people here can sense it.  I don’t fit in here as everyone looks like clones of each other.  When I was driving for Uber and Lyft out here, it felt like I was driving the same four people over and over.  Groups of four people over and over, looking and dressing alike, talking about the same stuff, saying all the same things… 

So I stand out, as an LA weirdo stumbling around hunched over, and a tall Arabian Princess walking next to me.  I look more Arab than she does, with my long dark beard, so that’s not helping me attract friends out here.  She’s much more popular around town, as she’s a tall hot chick shaped like a barbie doll and through my many travels with her I’ve learned that hot chicks are accepted everywhere, no matter how racist a place is.)

  But I’m still dressing like I sit on a tractor all day, even though it’s not helping.  They encourage carrying guns here, so I really should get at least a shotgun to complete the image, but I’m still trying to be a man of peace…

  And I mean they really encourage the open carrying of guns here… There are signs everywhere on most buildings and stores that read: “The carrying of concealed weapons is prohibited here.” But if you’re carrying the gun out in the open it’s perfectly fine.  So you’re waiting in line at the grocery store and average citizens in line have a handgun in a holster on the side of their hip.

 My first week driving for Uber out here, I drove this dude that said he’s been driving for Uber at night for years out here, and he was giving me tips about picking up passengers, giving me the whole rundown on how it works in this town, telling me where I can and can’t pick up passengers without the police frowning upon you or even ticketing you… and he told me he always carries a handgun right by his side. 

  I said: Seriously?!  You have a gun in your car when you drive?  And I said that sounded like a bad idea, because if you have a gun with you then you’re probably gonna use it.  I told him I drove for years in LA, only at night and someone pulled a gun on me and I was still glad I never had a gun as I didn’t want to have to shoot it out while I was simply trying to drive people home safely, in peace…

  He told me yeah he almost pulled his gun on plenty of passengers, and he once helped stop a robbery at a gas station with his gun so he felt much better having it than needing it and not having it, so I should definitely get a gun if I was going to drive for Uber and Lyft out here… (to be continued in the next post)

The new ebook of Shockingly True Uber Stories is available now on Amazon and the audio book will be available everywhere in a few weeks.